Saturday, February 03, 2007
The more things change, the more they change, the more they charge.
New Hicks charges announced
By Washington correspondent Michael Rowland
The US military has drafted new terrorism charges against Australian Guantanamo Bay detainee David Hicks.
The chief US military prosecutor at Guantanamo Bay wants to charge him with attempted murder and offering material support for terrorism.
Both offences carry a maximum penalty of life imprisonment.
The US has dropped previous charges of aiding the enemy and conspiracy.
The new charges need to be formally approved by the Pentagon official overseeing the military tribunal process before Hicks can again face trial.
Hicks's US military lawyer, Major Michael Mori, has questioned why his client has been charged with attempted murder when even the chief prosecutor agrees Hicks never fired a shot at anyone in Afghanistan.
Major Mori declared that David Hicks would strenuously defend some of the other charges brought against his client today.
"David has checked his diary and can prove that he was not in Sarajevo when Archduke Ferdinand was given the short back and sides, and denies that was he anywhere near the grassy knoll in 1964 or that he was on the banks of the Hawkesbury River when Dr Bogle and Mrs. Chandler bought theirs. Indeed, on behalf of my client in regard to the latter of these three charges, I shall be tendering statutory declarations from Brian Burke, Graham "Richo" Richardson and the late Sir John "make it a big one, but not too much ice" Kerr."
"The charge that my client was responsible for the break up of Kylie Minogue and her boyfriend, French singer and actor Lord Laurence Olivier Martinez is also strenuously denied. He never had thespian relations with that man."
"Despite the best efforts of US government agencies, my client still remains human, however putting forward the study by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) which says the earth's temperature could rise by up to four degrees Celsius by the end of the century and that the highly probable cause is human activity as evidence of an individual act of eco-terrorism by David Hicks is as preposterous as it is vindictive. We shall be calling expert witnesses, one of whom is David's fellow Australian, Andrew Bolt to refute such claims. Mr Bolt has proven time and time again that there is no such thingamajig as climate change so ipso facto, QED, QEF, QE11, ER11, nil desperandum, ex cathedra, ex catheter, oompaloompa, sine qua non, my client cannot be held responsible for that over egged canard."
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